The wind bit my skin. The sound of scratching surrounded me as I beheld the flight of the leaves. Summer is officially in hibernation. I remind myself it will return. How I will long for it until that day.
As it goes with mental health. The suffering involved with emotional ups and downs. Maybe some even silently. Swings are that as seasons change.
One is not “more” than the other. Though favored in some aspects some more than others, they are all equally validated. The elation. The depression. The coming in (the highs) of the tide as well as the going out (the lows).
My heart is stiff and I am insomniac right before my guy has a surgery. I take it all on heavy and hard early, so that I can be stoic the day of. I am living in the gray sky season for a while now. But it is needed. Just as the sunny one.
I say this to encourage the person out there that feels bad for feeling bad. I say this for the person who completely feels misunderstood. Remember that if you feel like you are just stuck, that these really are just momentary. They may feel eternal. Nothing of this world is though, is it?
Even though this is Graydon’s umpteenth (like seriously) surgery, it doesn’t get easier. And that is ok that I need to hide away for a bit.
Just as I HATE the cold weather, I hate feeling down. But I cling to the memory of blue skies and the sun kissing my skin. I cling to the return of joy after we make it through this hurdle.
To everything there is a season is not a foreign concept. Wise King Solomon even wrote of it.
This being said, hang in there. And if you are in a good spot right now, close your eyes and absorb all the beauty it holds. And if you aren’t, I feel ya. You are not alone. You can make it through.
Rainbows come after rain. Sun after storms. The leaves return when thawed from the snow. All things serve purpose. Learn from each one you go through.
I will be trying to as well.