This is a hard and almost diminished concept.
There is such business in our lives that we have this false illusion of control. Possession of how and which way life will move. Consuming, and not in a positive way.
It is only when we realize that we must surrender this concept that we have a chance at peace.
Surrender the racing thoughts in your head to allow yourself sleep. (Totally need to practice what I preach here)
Surrender your purpose for whatever circumstance you are battling, and realize that it may be better if it did not work out your way. (Not minimizing how critically hard this is… seriously)
Surrender, to allow yourself to heal from all the built up years of madness and hurt you hold onto. (Sometimes people do care, but we push them away when this is our trauma response)
Surrender.
It is not the absence of bravery or courage. I think it is the opposite. It is not a defiant act but a responsible one, for sanity’s sake.
My challenge, as many of you know lately, has been with chronic suffering. Not mine, but my child’s. You would think that would not be my problem to surrender. You would be incorrect. To be able to accept life’s next steps or open the book’s next chapter, is hard to imagine without me guiding the way. (I have to consistently and constantly surrender that notion.) No longer am I able to hold the wall up and fester the anxiety without it collapsing upon me. We carry one another’s burdens, like it or not.
Does this mean “surrender” is a fix-all? By no means.
Does this mean it is a step to heal, yes sir.
There is a magnitude of hurts and shames and guilts and frustrations living inside of us. Why do we allow them to flourish and our lives to be on pause while we try to take hold and control it all?
I fight. Do not get it twisted.
I try to determine each new day, that I will not yield to the swallowing of emotions.
I will surrender, but not to the depths. Only to free myself, rather than drown.
Reflect on yourself and examine what you are wrapped in. What you are holding onto. Do you want to be at constant war or do you want to relieve yourself of weariness?
Such a simple concept, such a HARD act.
We all need help doing this. Reminding ourselves that we are worth it. Reminding each other that control is not real. Circumstances base things. Reality is penetrating and raw. Getting the right people involved, the right meds, these are just the basics. This is the fight I speak of. The one worth investing in.
Seek out your surrender, friend.