I read something today that really hit on a different level. It was an article written addressed to someone watching another in their midst of suffering. Specific people were referenced from various places and times historically, regarding the extreme circumstances or challenges they faced. There were several points made in this article, but my takeaway to share with you today was this. What if those said persons had never had to go through that valley of suffering? Who knows the greatness that could have been lost but instead was added to their character. Would it have developed like it did?
I loved all of it, even though it was quite a pill.
This week I had to comfort my adult child as she cried about the unfairness of bills, work and school. Life’s balancing act that comes with no manual. I wanted nothing more than to pull her on out of that place of frustration. Pay for it all and make it not so heavy. I won’t though. See, this is where life leans in to see what you are made of. This is where you discover all about life in its professor hat and teaching notebook. This is just all part of it. If I rescue her from it now, she will not learn the lesson laid before her that would lead to personal growth during future trials. It seems all sorts of simple but think about it. You have someone you love. If you see them fail or get in a bind the first thing (at least for me) is to want to do whatever I can to remedy the problem. But here’s the thing, we aren’t really supposed to always be a lifeline. Hear me. There are circumstances and events that require a different way of thinking here. I am talking about the spirit we have of needing to be the hero of the day. The act that can often really be prideful and not useful for any learning.
We have to capture our thoughts each day and decide where to put them and what to do with them. We have to listen to the soft voice that whispers to us to let us know if this is not to be your battle, friend. Some battles require a casserole and a hug. Some battles require hard core prayer. Some battles require your literal presence. But not all of them require you being an interventionalist. We should absolutely be a shoulder, We should offer love and prayer. We should be a sincere source of friendship. But it is not always a battle you were meant to suit up for. Life’s intriguing way of placing the warrior where it wants it, is purposeful. Growth comes through learning. Learning comes from experience. We need to be able to be still and encourage sometimes from the sidelines. And man, that is really tricky. I know of folks that if they had just been pushed to face their own storm for a minute, would be able to fair all the other weather much easier. Instead, someone came in and plucked them out of it and their life has been underdeveloped emotionally, spiritually and relationally ever since.
Having a child out of the house is another level of stressful because like I said, you have to find that balance of “sink or swim”. I hope that I can always be able to decipher when I need to throw out the life coat or just remind that loved one that they know how to swim. Maybe you can have a different perspective on being a rescue boat from reading this. I bet there are lots of time in your own walk you can recall specific moments that helped mold you. Someone was likely in the background on their knees praying, but it’s a good thing they didn’t interrupt those divine lessons.